Of all the well-known sexual positions, 69 is one that often stands out-perhaps due to its notoriety from those middle school giggles whenever the number came up in class. While it might have seemed like a must-try in your adult life, mastering this tricky oral technique can present its own set of challenges.
Fortunately, there are numerous ways to enhance the enjoyment of this position, all of which rely on a good relationship with your sexual partner-be it romantic or purely physical. “With open communication and a playful attitude, you can enjoy 69,” says Janet Brito, PhD, a clinical psychologist and certified sex therapist in Honolulu, Hawaii. Communication about preferences is key to maximizing pleasure and experimenting with different approaches.
Looking for some ideas before you begin? Here’s a guide to executing the classic 69 position, along with some exciting variations and tips to make it even more enjoyable.
Understanding the Classic 69
Typically, 69 involves one partner lying on their back while the other partner lies on top in the opposite direction, each person’s genitals aligned with the other’s mouth. Rachel Wright, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist based in New York, notes that this position is adaptable for any gender or genital configuration.
Executing the Position
One partner lies down flat on their back, while the other straddles them, facing away. Align your genitals with your partner’s mouth for mutual oral pleasure, as described in more detail on Thewigandpentruro.
Variations for Different Body Types
If both partners have a penis or are using a strap-on, the partner with the longer phallus should be on the bottom, according to Carol Queen, PhD, a sexologist with Good Vibrations. Being on top allows for better range of motion, which is beneficial for longer phallus lengths.
Exploring Different 69 Variations
While traditional 69 involves lying down, it can also be done on your side, standing, or even with the aid of a handstand. Wright emphasizes that finding a comfortable position is crucial for an enjoyable experience. Consider factors like height difference, body shape, weight, and joint flexibility when choosing your variation.
Switching Roles
The person with a vulva is usually on top, with the person with a penis below. Switch roles to add variety and possibly facilitate deep-throating, suggests Queen. It’s important to use non-verbal safety cues, like a double thigh tap, to maintain comfort and safety.
Using Pillows for Support
If neck or back pain is an issue, try placing a pillow under the bottom partner’s head to avoid awkward angles. This simple adjustment can make a significant difference in comfort.
Sideways 69
For many, lying on the side is the most comfortable way to 69, as it mimics spooning and reduces strain. Use each other’s thighs as pillows to minimize neck pain, advises Queen.
Accommodating Height Differences
If height differences make the classic position challenging, have the taller partner lie on their back with a slight curve in their body. This adjustment allows for better alignment.
Enhancing the Experience with Toys
If you prefer not to engage directly in oral, consider using oral sex toys. This allows both partners to enjoy the sensation without physical strain, says Alejandra Lucatero, LCSW, a licensed clinical social worker specializing in sexual health.
Trying a Sex Swing
A sex swing can alleviate weight off knees and elbows, making the experience more comfortable. Ensure the swing’s weight limit accommodates both partners before use.
Standing and Lying Variations
For a less strenuous option, one partner can stand while the other lies down, with the standing partner bending over to reach the other’s genitals.
Incorporating a Third Partner
The 369 position introduces a third participant, creating a triangle shape for mutual stimulation. Ensure your space can accommodate this configuration comfortably.
Maximizing Pleasure and Comfort
Remember, achieving orgasm isn’t the only goal of 69. Focus on enjoying each moment and experimenting with techniques to enhance the experience.
Using Flavored Lubricants
To prevent friction, keep flavored lubes nearby. However, use them externally only, as they can irritate vaginal or rectal areas, notes Queen.
Building Confidence
If feeling shy, wear something that boosts your confidence, whether it’s lingerie or comfy PJs. Select outfits with easy access to enhance convenience.
Conclusion
69 can be an exciting and pleasurable experience with open communication, creativity, and attention to comfort. Remember to enjoy the process and explore various approaches to discover what works best for you and your partner(s).