Of all the sexual positions and techniques available, scissoring is perhaps one of the most misunderstood. Often assumed to be the default method for two people with vulvas, it is neither exclusive to them nor off-limits for other couples.
Regardless of anatomy, “scissoring allows for a very intimate connection,” states Peter Kanaris, PhD, a licensed psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist. The genital-to-genital contact is highly arousing and enhances both physical pleasure and emotional connection.
Understanding Scissoring
In essence, scissoring is a form of dry humping, explains Joy Berkheimer, PhD, LMFT, a sexologist. The position requires partners to lie on their sides, intertwining their legs like open scissors. The key is when genitals touch without penetration. Grinding and rubbing can lead to orgasm.
Exploring Variations
Once you’ve mastered the basic position, numerous adaptations are possible. “Scissoring can be performed in various positions,” says Kanaris. As long as legs are spread and there is hip movement or grinding, it qualifies as scissoring.
Scissoring is not a rigid checklist item. It can appear and feel however you choose, with the focus being on enjoyment and safety, Kanaris advises.
Benefits and Flexibility
Scissoring offers versatility in positioning and pacing. It can stimulate both partners simultaneously or be asynchronous, with one partner lying still while the other moves.
As an alternative to penetrative sex, scissoring suits those who prefer outercourse or experience pain with penetration due to conditions like endometriosis. Even those who enjoy penetration can find new stimulation with scissoring.
Kanaris notes that scissoring is about creating pleasurable sensations through gentle movement and gradual pressure increase, encouraging couples to slow down and savor the experience.
Consent and Safety Tips
Always ensure mutual consent before engaging. While spontaneous sex can be exciting, clear communication about desires is key, says Janet Brito, an AASECT-certified sex therapist.
Scissoring involves significant friction, which can cause chafing. Keeping lubricant nearby can prevent discomfort and enhance enjoyment. For sexual health, STI testing is recommended, and using condoms or dental dams with new partners is advisable.
Enhancing the Experience
The classic scissoring position involves lying on your sides with legs in a V-shape. Alternatives exist for those with different flexibility levels, such as leaning back on a bed with legs spread.
Grinding can also occur in non-traditional ways, like sitting on a partner’s lap or straddling their torso. There are no strict rules.
Take advantage of eye contact during scissoring, suggests Brito. It’s a chance to connect intimately. Feel free to incorporate toys, like a small vibrator, for added pleasure.
Experimenting with Sensations
To spice things up, consider temperature play, suggests Berkheimer. For more adventurous ideas and inspiration, you might want to explore resources like this site. Use ice cubes or a massage candle to introduce new sensations.
If finding the right angle is challenging, a pillow or sex wedge can assist in achieving comfort. For some, direct grinding may be too intense, so wearing textured lingerie or underwear can enhance sensations.
Not every scissoring variation may be equally pleasurable, but with imagination, communication, and experimentation, it can be an immensely satisfying experience every time.
Meet the Experts
Peter Kanaris, PhD, is a psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist. Joy Berkheimer, PhD, LMFT, is a therapist and chief sexologist. Janet Brito is an AASECT-certified sex therapist.